


Sing With Me

by TB80



Series: Songverse Soulmates [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: AU, F/F, Fluff, Light Angst, Soulmates, no powers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 08:17:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12813426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TB80/pseuds/TB80
Summary: You can hear the songs your soulmate sings. Companion piece to Sing Me A Song.Seeing how happy Alex and Maggie are, Kara is determined to finally find her soulmate. Lena had always known that, as a Luthor, claiming her soulmate wasn't in the cards.





	1. Chapter 1

Lena Luthor rarely allowed anticipation get the better of her. From a young age, she had learned that to show how excited she was about something, to reveal that she cared, was to alert other people to a potential weakness. No one had been better at exploiting those weaknesses than her dear mother.

So Lena had learned to hide the things she cared about. The things that made her smile, that made her life just a little bit brighter. She kept them inside, locked safely behind a mask of indifference. Only to be brought out and nurtured when she was alone, safe from the threat of discovery.

Her office, while empty save for herself at the moment, could hardly be considered a safe space. She was sure her mother had spies and informants squirreled away all over the company. Reporting back Lena's every action and movement. Every minor slip up and mistake. Even still, Lena couldn't help but glance at the calendar on her desk and give a soft, secret smile.

Just one more day.

If asked what their favorite day of the year was, many people would answer one of the major holidays; Thanksgiving, Christmas, maybe Easter or Halloween. Perhaps it would be their birthday or anniversary.

For Lena, it was November 1st.

* * *

Kara Danvers hummed happily to herself as she retrieved the overflowing box of decorations from the top shelf. Halloween was officially over, and Kara wanted to make sure the bakery was appropriately decorated for the start of business of tomorrow.

She knew that other people thought she was crazy, but for her, November 1st was the start of the Christmas season. Over the years Alex had tried to convince her to wait until a more reasonable date, like December 15th, but Kara would have none of it.

November 1st would always hold a special place in Kara's heart. It was the day that she knew for certain that she had a soulmate. Alex had tried to reassure her that the silence was nothing to worry about, her soulmate wasn't musical inclined either. Nevertheless, Kara had worried. She couldn't fathom a life without music, so the silence in her mind was worrying. Occasionally, there would be a snippet, but always so fleeting Kara wasn't sure if it was real or imagined.

Until one day, it had changed. The song had been halting, a few of the words wrong, but Kara had easily identified the strains of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." It was only the first of November, but for Kara, Christmas had come early. If her soulmate was fond of Christmas songs, then Christmas songs they would have.

Every year since November 1st marked the start of the Christmas season. Singing came naturally to Kara, and while her soulmate didn't always respond, every once in awhile, Kara would be rewarded with the echoing refrain. It was all the encouragement Kara needed. She liked to think that somewhere out there, her soulmate was smiling.

"Maggie is going to kill you," Alex said from her seat on the counter.

"I'm not afraid her," Kara insisted with false bravado. Technically, she had made a deal with her soon to be sister-in-law the previous year that she would delay her Christmasification of the bakery until after Thanksgiving. However, Maggie was a romantic at heart, and Kara didn't think she would hold her to their bargain. If anyone could understand doing anything for your soulmate, it would be Maggie.

Kara dropped the box of decorations on the counter. "Weren't you supposed to be going on a date tonight?"

"Maggie's running late," Alex explained. "She's going to swing by and pick me up when she's done at the station."

"Well if you're going to hang out here and bug me, you can help," Kara instructed, digging a string of lights out of the box and tossing them at her sister.

"Don't I always?" Alex retorted, getting up from the counter and walking to the front window.

Kara shrugged. "You've been...otherwise occupied for the last year." Alex sent her an apologetic look, opening her mouth to apologize, but Kara waved her off. "You don't need to apologize. You know how happy I am for you and Maggie." She had never seen Alex this happy, and it made Kara happy in return. Her usually workaholic sister was finally taking time to actually enjoy life, and Kara would never begrudge her that.

If she was also, maybe, just a tiny bit jealous, well, she was only human. Finding your soulmate took as long as it took. Kara knew that. It was just that seeing how happy Alex was, she couldn't help wishing hers would hurry up already.

"You'll find your soulmate soon," Alex said, reading Kara's thoughts.

Kara nodded and gave Alex a small smile. "I know. I'm not sure how, but it just feels close."

"Well, if it doesn't happen right away, don't get discouraged," Alex counseled, walking back her earlier statement. Kara hid a small smile. Even if love had made Alex soft, she was still her cautious older sister at heart.

"I won't," Kara promised. "I'm not going to just sit back anymore, though. I have a plan."

Alex looked at her skeptically. "A plan? You know you can't force these things to happen on your timetable. They happen when they happen."

"I know that," Kara insisted. "But there's nothing that says I can't help stack the odds in my favor a little."

* * *

"You need to do this."

Lena jumped as Jess slammed a piece of paper down on her desk. Stepping back, Jess crossed her arms over her chest and waited expectantly.

"Are you forgetting who writes your yearly review and approves your bonus?" Lena asked, arching one eyebrow.

"Please, we both know you'd be lost without me," Jess said dismissively.

"You can still at least pretend I'm in charge," Lena grumbled.

"Of course Ms. Luthor," Jess replied deferentially. "I saw this flyer, and thought it would be something you may be interested in, so I just wanted to bring it to your attention." Jess paused. "Ma'am."

"There's no need to be snide," Lena chided, picking up the piece of paper Jess had so unceremoniously deposited on her desk. "You must be joking." Lena dropped the paper as though it was on fire. It fluttered silently to the floor.

"I'm deadly serious," Jess insisted, picking up the fallen flyer and slapping it back down on Lena's desk. "You love Christmas carols, don't even try to deny it. I hear you in here humming them when you think no one is around."

Lena felt an embarrassed flush spread across her chest, and slowly creep up her neck. Not for the first time, she cursed her fair skin. "Keep your voice down," Lena hissed, looking around, as though one of her mother's spies was going to pop out of her sofa cushions.

Jess rolled her eyes. "Yours is the only office on the floor. And, since you probably haven't noticed, it's almost nine o'clock. Even your most dedicated executives have gone home."

"Yet you're still here," Lena pointed out sweetly.

"Someone needs to make sure you actually remember to go home and sleep," Jess retorted. One time. Lena had lost track of time and fallen asleep at her desk. One time and Jess just couldn't let it go.

It was Lena's turn to roll her eyes. "I don't need a keeper. I've been taking care of myself for years." Secretly Lena was warmed by Jess's concern. Her assistant was the closest thing she had to a friend. Lena pushed the piece of paper across the desk toward her assistant. "There is no way I'm doing that."

Undeterred, Jess slid the paper back towards Lena. "I think you should."

"Out of the question. Can you imagine the headlines?" Lena slid the now slightly crumpled paper back toward Jess.

"We'll get you a disguise. A fake name. It will be fun. Besides, you need to get out more. You can't lock yourself away in your office all the time. You need to live a little." The paper came to rest once again in front of Lena.

"Don't be ridiculous. What do you propose? Some glasses and a hoodie?"

"If that's what it takes," Jess insisted, crossing her arms and looking at Lena in determination. "The coffee shop that hosts this group is right around the corner from my apartment. You would love it. It already looks like Christmas exploded in there."

Lena forced a smile. "Sounds...unique." Jess may have discovered her penchant for humming Christmas carols to herself at a ridiculously early date on the calendar, but Lena wasn't about to reveal the true reason for the habit.

It wasn't that Lena hated Christmas, precisely. It was just that she had no great love for the holiday. Or any other for that matter. Even the carols themselves, she could take or leave. It wasn't the music, or the holiday, or any of the trappings surrounding it, that Lena so looked forward as October drew to a close each year.

It was the knowledge that somewhere out there someone was thinking about her. That, someone, was doing something just for her. Not to get something out of her, or to benefit themselves in some way. They were doing it just to do it. For the sheer joy of it.

As a Luthor, selfless action wasn't something with which she was intimately acquainted. Everyone in her life had an angle, and no one did anything for free.

To a ten-year-old Lena Luthor, sitting alone in her bedroom watching Home Alone, and thinking that her mother getting on a plane and leaving her alone would be the best gift she could receive, the realization that someone out there might care about her had seemed like a dream.

Lena had been aware of her soulmate for years. Whoever they were, they loved to sing. In fact, they almost never shut up. Lena wasn't much for singing. She had a terrible voice according to her mother, and she would be doing the world a favor if she kept it to herself. So she had. Until one afternoon, in an act of childish pique, she had haltingly started to sing along to the movie.

Almost immediately, Lena had heard the echo of the lyrics in her mind. Startled, afraid her mother would somehow find out, she had instinctively stopped. Her mother had made no secret of her disdain of the whole soulmate concept. Lena knew that it wasn't supposed to be possible to feel the emotions of your soulmate, but she swore the sense of disappointment had been almost palpable. The silence didn't last long, and it was only a few short moments until the strains of carol after carol filled her mind.

Soothed by the stream of music, by the knowledge that somewhere, someone was trying to connect with her, she had eventually dropped her guard enough to haltingly sing along. For that one brief moment, with two voices singing in time, she had finally felt like someone cared about her.

It was the start of a tradition. Every year since November 1st was marked with the strains of "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas". Lena didn't allow herself many indulgences, but not even she could resist occasionally singing along.

However, she wasn't about to tell any of that to Jess. She would rather let her assistant think she had a weakness for sappy Christmas songs then reveal the true reason. If Jess found out it was linked to her soulmate, she would be relentless. Her assistant was a hopeless romantic, and a soulmate just wasn't in the cards for Lena Luthor.

Reluctantly, Lena picked up the flyer. Bright, bold text urged her to join Dough See Dough's Annual Christmas Chorale. Cider and cookies provided. Lena sighed. "If I agree to check it out, will you let it go?"

Lena reasoned that it would be easier to give in, and waste an evening, than it would be to constantly have Jess harassing her over the issue. One night, and then she could focus on work uninterrupted.

Jess smiled, triumphant. "That's all I ask."

* * *

"Have you lost your mind?" Alex asked, looking at Kara incredulously.

"It will be fun," Kara insisted with a pout.

"You already host your own caroling group. Joining six more is insane," Alex insisted, punching down her bowl of dough with perhaps a bit more force than was absolutely required. Kara hopped up on the counter, letting her feet dangle off. "That's really unsanitary you know," Alex chided.

"I'll wipe it down before you roll out the dough," Kara insisted.

"You better," Alex grumbled.

"I couldn't just sit back and do nothing this year," Kara said defensively. "It just feels so close. Like if I just reach out a little further, I could get a fingertip on it."

"You know it doesn't work that way, Kara," Alex said gently. "Besides, I fail to see how joining every caroling group in the city is going to help."

"It's not every group," Kara insisted, kicking her feet back and forth. "I could only join if their rehearsal times didn't conflict. That narrowed the field considerably. From what was left, I needed to make sure I was covering as broad a geographical area as possible."

"You really thought about this," Alex said, looking at Kara thoughtfully.

Kara nodded her head emphatically. "I told you I had a plan."

Kara had vowed that this year was the year she stopped sitting back and waiting for life to happen to her. She was going to go out and grab it with both hands. She knew that you couldn't technically hurry up the discovery of your soulmate, but Kara felt like she had to do something. Just sitting back and waiting, was slowly driving her crazy.

She wanted what her sister had with Maggie. She wanted to find that one person that would make her life balanced and full. The only thing she knew about her soulmate was that they had an apparent affinity for Christmas songs. Of all the songs Kara would sing, they were the only ones that garnered a response. With that in mind, she figured the best way to increase her odds of finding a fellow Christmas enthusiast would be one of the cities many caroling groups.

The problem was, which one? Kara had a regular group she hosted every year, but that had never yielded any prospects, and at this point was comprised of a core, unchanging group. Her best option was to cast a wide net. A Google search, a simple data file, and a map of the city later, she had her final list of six.

"I'm not sure this exactly qualifies as a plan," Alex retorted. Kara started to protest, but Alex continued before she could launch into her defense. "But if you feel like it's going to help you locate your elusive soulmate, I'll make sure to keep you supplied with warm tea and honey."

"Thanks, Alex!" Kara cried happily, jumping off the counter and engulfing her sister in a bone-crushing hug. "I just have such a great feeling about this!" Kara skipped happily out of the kitchen.

"Hey!" Alex yelled at her retreating back. "You said you'd wipe down the counter!"

* * *

Lena had a terrible feeling about this. She was a powerful, independent woman. The head of a multi-billion dollar empire before the age of thirty. She had endured Lillian Luthor for years and was still alive to tell the tale. If people knew that she was unable to say no to her administrative assistant, her reputation would never recover.

She hugged the outside edge of the room, pushing her dark-framed glasses up her nose, and pulling her sweatshirt's hood a bit tighter around her ears. The fact that she had let herself be talked into this ridiculous "disguise" would be the final nail in her professional coffin. The idea that a hoodie and some reading glasses would render her unrecognizable was preposterous.

She surveyed the group of thirty or so people in the room with a wary eye. She really hoped that no one recognized her. She wasn't sure how she would explain what the CEO of L-Corp was doing in a middle school auditorium in one of the worst neighborhoods in National City.

It was Lena's one rebellion to Jess's plan. Her ornery streak refusing to completely roll over and give into her assistant's demands. It was the principal of the matter. Lena may have capitulated, but she was going to do it on her terms. The flyer for the group Jess had initially brought to her office had been a little too close too home for Lena's comfort. If she was going to do this, she wanted to be as far from her normal stomping grounds as possible. A quick search had given her a list of other caroling groups in the city. She had picked the one the furthest from her apartment and L-Corp as she could get while still technically being in National City.

She debated making a break for it before rehearsal started. She had told Jess she would come, and check it out. Which she had. She had never agreed to actually stay and sing. Lena Luthor knew about loopholes.

"Okay, everyone! If you would please gather around, we can get started." Lena cursed silently, realizing her possible window of escape had closed.

Pushing off the wall, she shuffled slowly toward the group of people gathering around the woman handing out a packet of sheet music. Edging forward into the crowd, she got jostled by someone trying to make their way through and knocked shoulders with the person standing next to her. A shiver, quickly shaken off, raced down her arm.

"Sorry," Lena offered reflexively, not bothering to turn to see who she had bumped into.

"No worries," the woman responded warmly. "It wasn't your fault. I'm Kara by the way."

Lena paused, realizing it would be rude to simply ignore the woman. "Tess," she said, turning only halfway to speak. Lena, or Tess, since she had no intention of using her real name, wasn't here to make friends.

A gap in the crowd opened in front of Lena and she pushed forward, leaving the woman behind. Taking the offered packet of music, Lena once again made her way through the milling group of people. Flipping through the pages, Lena was pleased to see that all of the songs were familiar. Though given her soulmate's penchant for singing, she supposed it would have been more surprising if they hadn't been.

"Alright, everyone. We're going to start off with an easy one. This doesn't have to be perfect, I just want to get a sense of where everyone is at. If everyone can turn to page 16, we'll get started in just a minute."

Lena flipped to the assigned page and tried not to scoff when the lyrics to Winter Wonderland stared back at her. They lived in southern California. What did they know about walking in a winter wonderland?

The choir director tapped on her music stand, and once she had everyone's attention, signaled for the pianist to start the accompaniment. The start of the song was a bit of a jumble, and it took everyone in the room a moment to get on the same page. Because of that chaos, it took a few moments longer for Lena to realize what she wasn't only hearing the singing from the others in the room.

Lena froze, the next line of song dying on her lips unsung. That didn't stop the unmistakable echo of the lyrics in her mind. This could not be happening. She was going to kill Jess.

* * *

Kara hurried down the hallway toward her sister's apartment. She felt positively buoyant, almost like she could fly. Not bothering to knock, she flung the door open and burst in, a whirlwind of barely suppressed excitement.

"You'll never guess what happened!" Kara cried excitedly, slamming the door behind her.

"Jesus, Kara!" Alex yelped from the couch. "Have you ever heard of knocking?"

Ignoring her sister's outraged shout, Kara plopped down in the armchair across from the couch "Hey, Maggie," Kara greeted.

"Hi, Kara," Maggie responded with a half laugh as she slid her hands out from under Alex's shirt. Still flustered, Alex pushed herself into a sitting position and pulled her shirt down.

"Did you need something, Kara? In case you didn't notice, we were kind of in the middle of something," Alex said crossly.

"It worked, Alex! It worked," Kara said excitedly, ignoring her sister's ill temper. If Kara limited her interaction with her sister to when she and Maggie weren't "in the middle of something" she would only see her sister at work. Sometimes, not even then.

"What worked?"

"My plan! It worked!"

Comprehension dawning, Alex leaned forward, her earlier irritation evaporating. "Oh my god, seriously?"

Kara nodded emphatically. "They were there, Alex! It worked!"

"Congratulations, Kara," Maggie said, almost as excited as Alex at the news. "Who's the lucky guy, or girl?"

"Well, as to that, I'm not exactly sure," Kara replied, some of her enthusiasm deflating at the question.

"How can you not be sure?" Alex asked in confusion.

"You of all people are asking me that?" Kara quipped.

Maggie snorted inelegantly. "She does kinda have a point there, Danvers." Alex poked Maggie in the side, none too gently, causing the detective to yelp and move away from the offending digit.

"I didn't exactly meet them," Kara explained, frowning slightly. "But I know they were in that room. I could hear the echo of the lyrics. They were there."

"Maybe it was just a coincidence. It is that time of year," Alex offered gently.

Kara shook her head. "They were there," Kara insisted with surety. "One song would maybe be coincidence, but not the whole set, Alex."

"So, what are you going to do now?" Alex questioned.

"I'm going to figure out who they are," Kara said with determination. "And I won't stop until I do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so...I'm supposed to be working on my other fic, but I needed a little break. This idea came to me a few months ago, and was intended as a one shot. It may have gotten away from me just a touch. I figured that at around 50 pages, it was stretching even the most generous definitions of a one-shot, and I decided to bust it into 6 parts.
> 
> It is done, and almost completely edited, so the rest of this should be going up over the course of the day.
> 
> As always I would love to hear what you think about it; good, bad, or otherwise.


	2. Chapter 2

Lena was facing a dilemma. Perhaps one of the biggest of her life. To go, or not to go, that was the question.

The fact that her soulmate had been at the choir group was not in doubt. It may have been possible that Winter Wonderland was a coincidence, but even the biggest skeptic would have been convinced when song, after song, after song, had echoed in perfect sync.

After recovering from her initial shock, Lena had tried to surreptitiously scan the room, and see if anyone else was doing the same. Unfortunately, she hadn't been able to spot anyone, since most everyone was facing forward, and she hadn't wanted her own actions to draw attention by being too obvious.

Lena was sure they would be on a mission to uncover her identity. Most people would be elated to discover they were within touching distance of their soulmate. And that was exactly what Lena was worried about. Lena wasn't most people.

While for most people, soulmates were something to look forward to, for Luthors, they were obstacles to avoid. Luthors didn't marry for something as silly and intangible as love. From a young age, it had been drilled into her that Luthors married for political, monetary, or familial gain. Love and soulmates were something that other people could afford to indulge in, but Luthors had more important concerns.

Lena had never bought into her mother's militant anti-soulmate rhetoric. Part of Lena yearned for that kind of connection with another person, her person, but she couldn't in good conscience subject them to the hell they would have in store for them.

Besides the embarrassment of having her daughter so publicly defy her stance on soulmates, Lillian had already lost Lex to madness, and while she had no great love for her daughter, there was no way she would risk losing her to love. Lena was the last hope of carrying the torch of the Luthor dynasty, and Lena had no doubt that Lillian would go to any length to ensure that nothing as inconvenient as love endanger it.

If she got wind of the fact that Lena had found her soulmate, she was sure she would make it her personal mission to make their life a living hell. Lena had long ago decided that it was better to have one small piece of her soulmate than to lose them entirely.

To go, or not to go.

If she went, there was the risk that her soulmate would figure out who she was. However, if she didn't go, there was also a risk that her soulmate would figure out who she was. The group as small, and process of elimination shouldn't be that difficult.

She had used a fake name, but would that be enough? Most people, when faced with the prospect of finally meeting their soulmate, wouldn't give up easily. Which was another part of her dilemma. While Lena knew she could never acknowledge her soulmate, she would be lying if she wasn't curious about who they were. The opportunity to put a face to the voice in her head was seductive. Wouldn't two small pieces be better than one?

Surely, if she were careful, she would be able to find them without being found.

* * *

Kara was a woman on a mission. Her goal singular, and her dedication to the cause complete. She would leave no stone unturned. Or, in this case, person unmet. Her soulmate was somewhere in this room, and before the night was out, she was determined to find them.

Chances were better than good that they would be looking for her as well. Sure, she had looked last week, had even lingered a bit after practice, and no one had come forward, but Kara didn't let that discourage her. They were probably just shocked, and adjusting to the discovery. Now that they had had a week to acclimate to the idea, she was sure it would be a simple endeavor. There were less than 50 people in the group, how hard could it be?

By the time she had shaken the 20th hand with no result, Kara was rueing her earlier hubris. Everyone she had met thus far had either been bonded, gave no inclination they too were seeking their soulmate or left Kara without so much as a flicker in her chest. Kara didn't understand why this was so hard, and she was running out of people.

* * *

Lena watched the blonde work her way through the room before the start of practice with a wary eye. It was possible the woman was simply very friendly, but Lena suspected it may be a bit more than that. She was moving through the crowd with the same steely determination that Lena approached a business deal.

If she was simply trying to get to know her fellow choir mates, Lena would expect her to linger and engage in a bit of small talk. But that hadn't been her pattern. Lena had watched as she had moved methodically from person to person, clearly seeking, but not finding, whatever it was she was looking for.

Because what she was looking for, was currently hovering around the edges of the room, trying to avoid being seen without looking suspicious.

As she watched the woman, Lena could not fault the universe's taste one iota; she was stunning. Lena could feel the inexplicable pull toward her. It was a pull she ruthlessly suppressed. Her goal had been to identify her soulmate, and she was pretty sure that she had. Actually meeting her would be absolute folly.

When she saw the woman glance in her direction, Lena realized that decision was no longer hers to make. The blonde had locked on with an almost laser-like intensity. Lena swore she could almost feel the stare burning holes in her. Cursing to herself for her inattention, Lena took the few precious moments that the woman strode determinedly toward her, to put on her best poker face.

"Hi, I'm Kara. Tess, right?" As soon as she introduced herself, Lena remembered the collision from the previous week. The tingle she had been so quick to dismiss. She stuffed her hands into her pockets, preferring to look unfriendly than to risk further physical contact.

Deciding to play dumb, Lena tilted her head to the side and adopted a puzzled expression. "I'm sorry, have we met?"

Kara nodded. "Last week. We ran into each other. Literally."

Lena frowned, shaking her head. "Sorry, I don't recall." Lena hoped there wasn't some type of divine retribution for lying to your soulmate.

"That's okay," Kara said with a wave of her hand. Blue eyes fixed on her intently, and Lena had the feeling that Kara was almost able to see through her. "Big fan of Christmas?" Kara blurted.

If Lena had had any doubts before, they were all but gone. "Pardon?"

"Christmas? I assume you're a fan. What with the," Kara gestured around, "caroling and all."

Lena shrugged. "I can take it or leave it," Lena admitted honestly.

Kara frowned, an adorable crinkle forming between her brows. "Oh. Then why the caroling?" The look of disappointment on Kara's face almost had Lena blurting out that she had lied. That, in fact, she loved Christmas.

"Jess insisted," Lena said.

"Is she your girlfriend?" Kara asked. Lena swore she could see the light in Kara's eyes dim marginally at the question.

Lena coughed. "Jess is my…..Jess. I'd be lost without her." Lena reasoned that it wasn't technically lying, even if the slump of Kara's shoulders told her the remark had been interpreted as intended.

Kara smiled weakly. "Well, I won't take up any more of your time. I still have a few people to meet before practice starts." Kara started to walk away, pausing a moment, before turning back. "It was nice to meet you, Tess."

"It was nice to meet you too, Kara," Lena answered softly. As Kara gave a small wave and drifted over to the next group of people, Lena told herself she was making the right decision. Kara would be better off without her.

* * *

Kara sat behind the counter, chin resting in the palm of one hand, and stared morosely out the window. The weather outside was terrible, and business had been slow. Kara figured that was par for the course lately.

"Okay, what's up? A few days ago you looked like you would float into the stratosphere, and now you look like someone murdered your puppy," Alex asked, coming out of the kitchen.

"I don't have a puppy," Kara mumbled, features glum. Maybe a puppy would make her feel better. At least then she would have something to cuddle with.

"I know you don't have a puppy," Alex replied, wrapping her arm around Kara's shoulders and giving her a hug. "C'mon, what has you so down?"

Kara sighed. "I still don't know who they are, Alex. I introduced myself to everyone and nothing."

Alex looked at Kara in sympathy. "Maybe they missed last night?"

Kara shook her head. "They were there. I heard it. I must have met them and I didn't even know. I always thought I would know. Something must be wrong."

Kara had thought about finding her soulmate almost as long as she could remember. How their eyes would meet across a crowded room, and they would just...know. they would fall into each other's arms, sparks igniting at the contact.

"Just because fireworks didn't go off, and choirs of angels didn't start to sing, doesn't mean something is wrong. Everyone's experience is different."

"It's not a joke, Alex," Kara snapped.

"I know it's not a joke," Alex said gently. "I'm just saying, just because you didn't see some flashing neon sign saying "Kara's Soulmate" doesn't mean that something is wrong. Sometimes it just takes a little time. Look at Maggie and me," Alex said encouragingly.

"I like to think I'm not quite as oblivious as you," Kara said, cracking a small smile.

"Hey. Offended." Alex leaned into Kara's side, resting her head against Kara's. "You really didn't feel anything."

Kara shrugged, her mind flashing back to vibrant green eyes. "I thought maybe, but she has a girlfriend."

"Ooooh, tell me more," Alex prodded Kara in the side, making the blonde squirm away.

"Quit it!" Kara demanded, slapping at her sister's hand. "There's not much to tell. I thought maybe there was a spark, but she has someone. Someone, she sounded pretty devoted to."

"It'll all work out Kara, I promise."

Kara nodded, but for the first time, she wasn't sure she believed it. Besides not being able to tell instantly, there was another thing weighing on Kara's mind. No one else at the choir group had appeared to be searching the crowd.

Why wasn't her soulmate looking for her?

* * *

Lena had once again wrestled with the question of whether or not to attend, but just like before, she found herself in the choir room. Like a moth to a flame, Lena found herself unable to resist. If she was careful, there was no harm in continuing to observe Kara from afar, right? Once caroling was done, Lena knew she would have to say goodbye forever, but until then, she greedily wanted to absorb every moment she could, and store it away. Surely she deserved at least that much.

The one thing Lena hadn't counted on was Kara looking so...sad. The blonde had entered rehearsal this week with none of her usual exuberance on display. Shoulders slightly rounded, smile subdued, the light in her eyes dimmed. For the first time, Kara was keeping mostly to herself, showing no interest in interacting with any of her fellow choir members.

Her heart was heavy with the knowledge that she was more than likely the one responsible for putting Kara in that state. Lena chewed thoughtfully on her bottom lip. Weighing the risk vs the need to lift Kara's mood.

Pushing away from the wall, Lena made her way determinedly across the room.

"Hey," Lena said in greeting, dropping into the seat next to Kara. Lena breathed in, and her senses were suffused with the warm scents of cinnamon and vanilla. Of course, not only did Kara look like a human cinnamon roll, she smelled like one too.

"Hi, Tess," Kara replied, her tone subdued. Lena winced internally. Lying about her name seemed ridiculous now, and hearing Kara call her by it set Lena on edge. It made her skin itch.

"For someone about to sing about holiday cheer, you look positively morose."

Kara shrugged. "It's been a tough week," Kara admitted.

"I'm sorry." Even as she offered the platitude, Lena berated herself. She had a very good idea what had Kara so down, and she alone had the power to change it. Except that she couldn't.

"Not your fault," Kara replied with a small smile. Lena hid a wince. Oh Kara, if you only knew. The sense of guilt was almost suffocating.

Lena saw the choir director enter the room, and realized that she was on limited time. In a few moments rehearsal would start, and her time with Kara would come to an end. Lena knew it was selfish, but she wasn't quite ready to let her go.

"Would you like to get a coffee after practice?" Even as the words left her mouth, Lena wanted to snatch them back. Was she out of her mind? She had simply wanted to try to erase the look of sadness on Kara's face, spend a few minutes with her, not ask her out on a quasi-date.

Kara frowned, head tilted sideways. "Won't Jess be expecting you?"

Lena waved off the concern. "Jess will be thrilled. She is always pestering me to make new friends." Lena tried to ignore the twinge of guilt she felt at continuing to lie to Kara. It was necessary, and it was for her own good.

"I'd really like that, Tess." For the first time that night, Kara gave a real smile. Lena felt her heart flutter at the sight. She felt as big a sense of accomplishment at getting Kara to smile, as she had when she closed her first multi-million dollar deal.

Lena smiled in return, her heart racing with a combination of exhilaration and panic. She hoped to god she knew what she was doing.

* * *

Kara knew she should probably be concentrating on finding her soulmate, there were only a few weeks of choir practice left, but when Tess had asked her out for coffee, she found herself unable to say no. There was just something about the other woman that brightened her mood.

"One hot chocolate," Tess said, setting the cup in front of Kara with a flourish.

"You didn't have to pay," Kara scolded.

"I asked you. My treat," Tess replied with a smile. Kara ducked her head, trying to hide her blush. She tried to ignore the flutter in her chest. She was being stupid. This wasn't a date. Tess was with Jess, and Kara needed to focus on finding her soulmate.

"Well, thank you. Next time is on me," Kara insisted.

"Next time?" Tess asked challengingly, eyebrow raised. "That's awfully presumptuous of you, Miss Danvers."

"Oh, I mean, if you want to? I didn't mean to come across as pushy. You probably have better things to do," Kara rambled.

"Same time next week?" Tess asked with a laugh. If Kara didn't know better, she would swear the other woman was flirting with her. Kara shook her head. Except she did know better.

"I'd like that," Kara replied, bashfully. Kara took a sip of her hot chocolate. "So, Tess, what is it that you do?"

"Oh, nothing too exciting," Tess replied, after a barely imperceptible hesitation. "Just a boring office job. How about you?"

"My sister and I own a bakery."

"That explains it," Tess muttered quietly to herself. Before Kara could ask what she meant, Tess continued. "So, a businesswoman? That must be exciting."

Kara shrugged. "It's hardly a corporate empire. Just a small shop. I mostly just run the cash register. Alex is responsible for all the creative stuff."

Tess frowned. "Running a business, even a small one, is a lot of work. Don't diminish that. You should be proud."

"You should come by sometime," Kara offered. "Alex makes the best cinnamon rolls in town."

"That's quite the claim. I hope you can back it up," Tess teased.

"I guess you'll just have to find out for yourself," Kara retorted.

"Well to do that, you'll have to tell me what it's called."

"Oh. Dough See Dough. It's across town, on Fern."

Tess tipped her head to the side. "Don't they have a choral group?" Kara looked at Tess in surprise, causing the other woman to shift. "A...friend had one of your flyers."

Kara squirmed in embarrassment, feeling exposed. It was one thing to tell Alex about her plan, but revealing herself to Tess felt different.

"It's okay, you don't have to explain anything to me," Tess offered.

"No, it's fine," Kara insisted, shaking her head. "I just…" Kara blew out a frustrated sigh. Maybe telling Tess would be good. She could get an outside perspective. There was something about Tess that make Kara feel like she could tell her anything. It felt safe with her.

"I'm looking for my soulmate," Kara finally blurted out in a rush.

Tess raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Your soulmate?" If Kara thought she detected a thread of nervousness in Tess's voice, she dismissed it as a figment of her imagination. Tess didn't have anything to be nervous about.

Kara nodded. "I got tired of waiting. Last year my sister met hers, Maggie, and they have just been so happy, that I wanted that for myself. You know?" Tess nodded her head hesitantly. "So, I decided that this year I would be a bit more proactive.

Christmas carols have always kinda been our thing, and I thought, caroling would at least be a place to start. My group has been together for years, so I thought, why not join a few more? Better my odds."

"How many did you join?" Tess asked, breaking her silence.

"Six?" Kara admitted sheepishly, shrugging.

"Did it work?"

Kara nodded. "It did...Sort of." Kara sighed. "I know they are in our group, but I can't figure out who it is."

"Well that's lucky," Tess said with a slightly nervous laugh.

"Any suggestions?"

"About?"

"Finding my soulmate," Kara said with a frown. Had they not just been talking about that? "I figured since you found yours, you may have some insights? Alex isn't any help. She just keeps telling me to be patient. That it will all work out." Kara huffed in frustration. "Easy for her to say. She has her soulmate. I have a ticking clock. Christmas is only a few weeks away."

Kara looked at Tess earnestly. "How did you know? With Jess, I mean."

"Jess?" Tess shook her head. "Oh, I don't...I think it's a little different with everyone. You just...know?"

Kara sighed. "That's what everyone says, but that doesn't seem to be helping. I talked to everyone in the group. I know they are there. I can hear the echo, you know?" Kara shook her head. "Have you noticed anyone else….looking?" Kara asked hopefully.

Tess shook her head. "I'm sorry, Kara."

Kara smiled at Tess sadly. "That's okay. This was probably all a long shot anyway. Alex told me you couldn't rush these things." Kara shrugged. "Maybe it's just not the right time."


	3. Chapter 3

"If you don't get going you're going to be late," Jess warned from the doorway.

"I'm not going," Lena replied, not looking up from the report she was working on.

"What? Why not?" Jess demanded, striding over to Lena's desk to glare at her boss.

Lena continued to make notes on the report. "Because I'm extremely busy, and while the last few weeks have been pleasant, I have more pressing concerns." Lena paused, looking at a disapproving Jess. Oh, if she only knew the truth, Jess would be positively furious.

"We had an agreement," Jess protested.

"One which I've honored," Lena replied crisply. "You asked me to check it out, and I did. But I have fourth quarter deadlines looming, and if we fail to make numbers, Mother will be impossible to deal with until April." Lena softened her expression. "I appreciate the effort, Jess, really, and I heard you. I promise, after the new year, once things settle down, I will start taking a little time for myself."

Jess sighed, unfolding her arms. "I just worry about you."

Lena smiled. "And I appreciate it. Truly." Lena glanced at the clock, noticing it was past seven. "Why don't you get out of here. I'm going to be at this for a while, but there's no need for you to spoil your evening as well."

Jess looked torn. "You promise you won't stay too late?"

"I don't make promises I can't keep," Lena joked.

Jess sighed. "Fine. But I'm ordering dinner for you before I go. I'll have Sidney at the front desk bring it up for you."

"You're too good to me," Lena said with affection. "Now get out of here." Lena waved her hand at the door. "Go enjoy the rest of your night."

Jess gave Lena one more worried glance, but finally nodded her head, and exited the office. Lena let out a sigh of relief, and let her head fall forward. Releasing all of the tension she had been holding.

Risk of discovery be damned, there was no way she was going back to that choir group. She had been a prideful, selfish, idiot to think that she could be friends with Kara without consequence. It had taken all of her formidable boardroom mask to make it through their coffee 'date' the previous week.

If Lena had felt guilty about seeing Kara a little sad, it was nothing compared to how she had felt listening to Kara pour her heart out. The only thing that had kept her from reaching across the table, grasping Kara's hand, and confessing everything, had been Lillian's face in her mind's eye.

Lillian, smiling icily, as she threw out all of Lena's favorite dolls. Declaring that she was too old for such childish toys any longer. Lillian, her face suffused with anger when she took the stray kitten Lena had found and smuggled into her room. Lena had managed to keep it hidden for almost a week, feeding it bits of food she snuck out of the kitchen before the housekeeper had discovered it and told Lillian.

Everything Lena had ever loved, Lillian had managed to take away. Lena couldn't even fathom what she would do to remove Kara from her life if she was foolish enough to reveal the truth. No, it was better to play it safe, and remove herself from Kara's life.

It was a risk, not going. Her absence would be immediately noticed by Kara. Lena had briefly toyed with the idea of singing along, just to maintain the deception, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. The image of Kara, fruitlessly searching the crowd for someone that she would never find, had haunted her.

No more games. It wasn't fair to Kara to continue to dangle the possibility of her soulmate in front of her, while forever holding it out of her reach. It was cruel, and it had never been Lena's intention to be cruel.

Lena could only hope that when Kara managed to put two and two together, that her false identity as Tess Mercer would be enough to keep Kara from discovering who she truly was.

* * *

Kara rushed into rehearsal, breathless from her hasty dash from the bus stop. She hated being late. She had been hoping to spend a few minutes with Tess before they got started. Kara had been looking forward to seeing her all week, and she cursed herself for not getting the other woman's number the week before.

Her mind had been preoccupied with her new friend. More than once, she had found herself wanting to text her new friend about something that one of her customers had said or done. If part of her recognized that she was sailing in dangerous waters, she chose to ignore it.

Kara Danvers was a firm believer in soulmates, and true love, and no matter how attracted she was to Tess, she would never do anything to threaten someone else's soul bond.

Shrugging out of her coat she quickly scanned the crowd, frowning when she failed to spot Tess's familiar hoodie-clad figure lurking around the edges of the room. Maybe she was running late like Kara. Kara pushed down her disappointment, comforting herself with the fact that they had plans for later.

Whatever comfort Kara felt evaporated when practice started, and the only voices she could hear were those in the room. The words to the song dying on her lips, Kara looked around in confusion. The confusion was quickly replaced by panic.

Gone. Her soulmate was gone. She had missed her chance. Instead of focusing on her task, she had let herself get distracted by her infatuation with Tess. Kara froze.

Tess. Tess, who hadn't been here when Kara arrived. Tess, who she felt an irresistible pull towards. Tess, who had a girlfriend. Tess, who had listened to Kara spill her heart the previous week about looking for her soulmate, and said nothing.

Fighting the rising sense of panic, Kara frantically scanned the room. Desperate to find some other missing member. The only other person that she could identify was Agnes. And, while Kara knew the universe could sometimes have a perverse sense of humor, she didn't think her soulmate was an 84-year-old, married, great-grandmother of 6.

Kara tried to draw a deep breath, but the band constricting her chest made it impossible. She saw a few of the group members look at her her in concern, but she ignored them, too focused on her need for air. For space.

Pushing the door open, Kara stumbled out into the cool night air. Bending over, she braced her hands on her knees, desperately trying to calm her racing heart. It took her a few minutes, but she was finally able to collect herself.

Maybe she was panicking for no reason. Maybe Tess just hadn't been feeling well, and had to skip rehearsal. There was probably a perfectly reasonable explanation for her absence. If that still failed to account for Tess's girlfriend, or the fact that she hadn't said anything when Kara had talked about searching for her soulmate. Well, Kara was trying to look on the bright side.

Kara had questions, and only one person had the answers. She needed to find Tess Mercer.

* * *

"I can't find her anywhere, Alex," Kara cried in frustration, pacing back and forth in front of the couch in her sister's apartment. Alex and Maggie were curled up together on the couch, watching in sympathy. "Every time I find a Tess Mercer, it's not her."

"Could Tess be short for something?" Alex asked.

"I don't know," Kara said in frustration. "If I need to hunt down every Mercer in National City I'll do it." Kara was at the end of her rope. She had spent days trying to find Tess. Barely taking the time to eat and sleep. She couldn't think of anything else, and she felt like she was losing her mind. She needed answers.

"Do you have a picture?" Maggie asked, sitting forward.

"No," Kara said slowly, shaking her head. "I don't. I didn't think-Wait!" Kara dug her phone out of her back pocket, fingers made clumsy with her eagerness. "I think there was someone..Where is it?..No...no...no...Wait, maybe it was….Yes!" Kara cried out triumphantly. "I knew someone had taken a group shot."

"What are you thinking?" Alex asked her fiance.

"I'm thinking that I work at a police station, and we have some pretty advanced facial recognition software," Maggie replied with a proud smile. "If Kara has a photo….."

Alex frowned. "Isn't that against the rules?"

Maggie shrugged and waggled her hand back and forth. "Let's call it a gray area." Seeing Alex's dubious look, Maggie leaned over and kissed her. "Don't be such a stickler, Danvers. It'll be fine."

"Here," Kara said, finally handing over her phone, the pictured zoomed in to frame Tess's face. Just looking at it caused a small pang to spread through Kara's chest. It wasn't the best photo, but Tess's features were clearly discernable.

Maggie took the phone and looked at it silently for a few minutes, head cocked sideways. "Well, I can see the problem."

"What?" Kara and Alex asked in unison. Kara leaned forward, eager to learn what Maggie had discovered.

"So, I've got good news, and some maybe not so good news."

"Maggie…" Alex growled impatiently.

"Okay, okay. The good news is that I'm not going to have to run this through the facial recognition program at the station."

"Why not?" Kara asked. "Do you recognize her?"

Maggie nodded. "That brings us to the maybe not so good news. If I'm not mistaken, that," Maggie tapped the phone screen, "that, is Lena Luthor."

Alex frowned. "Lena Luthor? As in…"

"Yup. As in L-Corp Lena Luthor. As in one of National City's most powerful women, hell people, under 30. As in sister to the most notorious mass murderer in recent history. Daughter of Lillian Luthor, vocal free-will advocate and head of Citizens Against Destined Marriage in the United States. That Lena Luthor."

With knees suddenly gone weak, Kara collapsed onto the couch. Lena Luthor. Kara had heard of her of course. You could hardly live in National City without hearing the Luthor name. But corporate power players had never really interested Kara much, so she didn't know what Lena looked like.

"Are you sure?" Alex demanded, snatching the phone out of Maggie's hand.

Maggie shrugged. "Not completely. Google her, babe. See for yourself."

Kara continued to sit numbly on the couch, still trying to process this new information. Why would Tess, Kara shook her head, Lena, why would Lena have lied about who she was? It didn't make any sense to Kara. None of this made any sense.

"Well, shit," Alex exclaimed.

Kara turned her head. "Is it her?" she asked weakly.

Alex bit her lip, looking back down at the phone, before handing it to Kara to see for herself. Kara closed her eyes, drawing in a deep breath to steady herself, before looking at the screen.

All it took was one look at those green eyes. "It's her," Kara confirmed quietly. Kara closed her eyes again, fighting back tears. Why had she lied?

* * *

Kara clutched her purse nervously to her chest, watching as the floor numbers flashed by. Kara knew it was a risk coming here, but she had to know the truth. She had to know why Lena had run. Had lied about who she really was.

The doors dinged open, and Kara stepped off the elevator. All she had to do was get Lena to agree to speak to her. She had decided against making an appointment, afraid that advance warning may cause Lena to refuse. She was hoping that her presence and the element of surprise would work in her favor.

"Can I help you?"

Kara walked slowly over to the desk. An efficient looking brunette smiled politely back at her, waiting for her to explain her presence. Kara flicked her gaze over the nameplate and froze. Jess McMasters. This must be Lena's Jess. Kara swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry.

"Hi, I'm Kara Danvers. I was wondering if Ms. Luthor had a moment to meet with me," Kara asked nervously.

Jess frowned. "Did you have an appointment?"

"No, uh. No. I was… I was just in the neighborhood, and I...I was hoping that she...Can you please just tell her that Kara wishes to speak with her?" Kara managed to stutter out. Either Lena would agree to see her, or she wouldn't.

"This is highly irregular," Jess said, looking like she was going to refuse.

"Please?" Kara pleaded. "It's really important that I speak with her."

"Who are you exactly?" Jess demanded, not looking particularly swayed. Kara couldn't tell if she was simply being protective of her boss, and being a good employee, or if it was something more...personal.

"A friend," Kara replied.

"A friend?" Jess said skeptically. "I've never heard Ms. Luthor mention you." Jess crossed her arms over her chest. "I know all of her friends."

"We haven't known each other long," Kara confessed, realizing that she was going to have to at least partially explain her connection to Lena if she hoped to gain entry to her office. "We met a few weeks ago, at caroling practice."

"Caroling practice…." Jess said, suddenly eyeing Kara with new intensity. Kara could see the other woman working something over in her mind, but she had no idea what it could be. Lena obviously hadn't mentioned her to this woman. "Just a moment."

Jess picked up her phone and dialed. "Ms. Luthor? Yes, your 10 o'clock is here to see you….It isn't? That's odd. It was a late addition to your schedule….It must be my mistake...Do you want me to send them away? I can reschedule if...Understood... Yes, ma'am."

Jess hung up the phone with a click. "You can go in. You have ten minutes." Kara nodded, smiling her appreciation. She turned, bag clutched in a death grip. She started to walk toward the office door "Ms. Danvers?" Kara halted and turned back towards Jess. "Don't make me regret this."

The warning was clear. Kara nodded her head. She had no intention of hurting Lena. Kara drew a breath and faced the door once more. She just wished she could be as sure of Lena's intentions.

* * *

Lena dropped her phone into the cradle with a frown. It was very unlike Jess to forget to put an appointment on her calendar. Lena liked to be fully prepared for all meetings. Last minute additions and changes had a way of leaving her feeling off balance.

It was a feeling Lena had grown well acquainted with over the last several days. She was finding it almost impossible to focus. Work, her one refuge, was no longer providing her any solace. Her concentration was shattered, her thoughts straying constantly to Kara.

She had felt it. The moment when Kara realized. The half-finished chorus to Silent Night was the last thing Lena had heard. Kara, who typically sang to herself at least once a day, had been silent. Lena told herself that Kara would be fine, she just needed time. She was sure that in a few days, Kara would be back to her regular self.

Her office door swung open, and Lena rose to greet her guest, whoever they may be. The professional smile that she had fixed on her face slid off the moment she saw who her guest was. She was going to absolutely murder, Jess.

"Kara," she breathed out softly, stunned to see the other woman standing in her office. Even though she knew it shouldn't, she felt her heart swell at the sight of the blonde. Her features were drawn, dark circles visible under her eyes, the strain of the last week visible. Lena still thought she was the most beautiful thing she had ever laid eyes on.

"Not going to keep pretending then?" Kara asked softly, closing the door behind her.

Lena wanted to drop to her knees. To beg forgiveness for what she had done. For putting Kara through the pain that she so obviously had. But she couldn't do that. Kara finding her had changed nothing. Lena marshaled her resolve. She couldn't give Kara happily ever after, but perhaps she could give her closure. Of a sort. She slipped on her mask of cool indifference.

"Is there any point? Obviously, you found me," Lena replied cooly, circling back to resume her seat behind her desk.

"Not that you made it easy," Kara accused, moving to stand in front of Lena. "Why did you lie? Why did you disappear like that?"

Lena shrugged casually. "It seemed like the best thing to do."

"Best thing to do?" Kara demanded. "How can you say that?"

Lena interlaced her fingers over her stomach and leaned back in her chair. The pose was partly to convey an air of indifference, and partly to keep from reaching out for Kara. A part of Lena cried out to offer comfort, and assure Kara that everything would be okay. The memory of what Lillian was capable of staid her hand.

"Look, Kara. You seem sweet and all, but it was clear that you are very invested in the whole soulmate concept." Lena shook her head. "That's just not something that I have any interest in." Lena shrugged. "Cutting ties seemed like the kindest thing to do."

"Kind?" Kara said incredulously. "You think just…" Kara waved her hands about wildly, "disappearing without a word was kind? You know, you obviously know. Was this all just a game to you?" Kara asked, anguished.

"No, Kara," Lena said, her tone gentle. She wanted to give Kara closure, and Lena knew that meant that she would probably end up hating her, but she wouldn't be needlessly cruel. "It had always been my hope that I would never meet my soulmate," Lena confessed, finally confirming the nature of the bond between them. "I regret deeply that it happened, and I apologize for returning the second week. That was unkind of me. I was curious, and I thought there wouldn't be any harm in getting to know you a little. I was wrong."

Kara shook her head. "I don't understand any of this, Lena. Explain it to me. Please"

Lena sighed. "I'm a Luthor, Kara," Lena explained patiently, as though speaking to a child. "Soulmates? True love?" Lena laughed dismissively, doing a fair impersonation of her mother. "We can't let those things get in the way of the big picture."

"The big picture?" Kara repeated.

Lena nodded. "L-Corp. Making sure this company stays the global leader that it is today. Cementing the family's place in history as people to be respected."

"And you can't do that and have a soulmate at the same time?"

"I'm going to have to get married eventually. Produce the next generation of Luthors. Are you okay with sharing, Kara?"

"We could have kids," Kara offered weakly. Lena felt her heart twist in her chest. She could almost picture it. Kara, holding a dark-haired infant, looking down at it with rapt adoration. Unfortunately, she could also picture Lillian, hovering on the edges, poised to tear it all away.

Lena laughed mockingly. "Luthors produce heirs, Kara. Besides a nice set of cheekbones, what would a baby of yours offer me?"

"Why are you being this way?" Kara asked, voice shaking. Lena saw the tears spring to Kara's eyes and dug her nails into her palm so sharply she was certain she drew blood.

"Because it's who I am," Lena replied, voice steady. Kara shook her head in denial. "It is." A look of genuine regret passed over Lena's face. "I'm sorry, Kara, truly. But this? Us? It's not going to happen. I have goals and aspirations for this company, and settling down with you doesn't get me any closer to achieving them. This company is the most important thing in the world to me. Everything else is a distant second."

"Do you really mean that?" Kara asked, looking defeated.

"I do," Lena lied, nodding her head.

Kara smiled at her sadly, eyes watery, and nodded her head. "I won't bug you anymore then," Kara said softly.

Lena wanted nothing more than to stand up, and enfold her in a hug, but she knew she couldn't. She was doing this for Kara. To protect Kara. It would be fine. Kara would find someone eventually. Not everyone was lucky enough to keep their soulmates for life. Some died young, some like Lena, chose not to accept theirs. Kara was too sweet, and good, not to find someone to share her life with. Lena's heart ached at the thought.

Kara paused by the door, turning back to look at Lena. "Good-bye, Lena. I hope you get everything you want. That it makes you happy." From anyone else, the words would have been a curse, but Lena detected only genuine good will.

Lena didn't respond. There was nothing she could offer Kara that would make her feel any better. Kara hesitated a moment, maybe hoping that Lena would change her mind. When Lena didn't, Kara nodded and turned to exit. Lena watched her go silently, feeling like a vital piece of herself was leaving with her.

When the door closed with a silent click, Lena finally broke. For the first time since she was a young girl, Lena dropped her head onto her desk and cried.


	4. Chapter 4

A persistent pounding woke Kara from a restless sleep. It took a few moments for consciousness to return, but once it did, Kara ignored the knocking on her door and burrowed herself deeper into her nest of blankets.

"Kara! I swear to god, if you don't get your ass out of bed, and open this door, I'm going to have Maggie break it down!" Alex demanded angrily from the hallway. Kara, wanting to just wallow in private, had had the presence of mind to engage the keyless deadbolt, so her sister's key was useless.

Kara tried to ignore the knocking, but Alex persisted. "Go away, Alex!" Kara yelled in frustration. Was wanting a few days to mourn the life you always dreamed of really so much to ask?

"Not until you let me in so I can check on you," Alex insisted loudly.

"I'm fine," Kara insisted.

"If you were fine, you wouldn't be locked in your apartment refusing to talk to me." Alex pounded on the door again. "I'm not leaving until you open up."

Kara sighed and threw back the covers. Alex was impossible when she got like this. Dragging the comforter off the bed, Kara wrapped it around her shoulders and shuffled toward the door. She barely had time to get out of the way after disengaging the deadbolt, before the door was swinging open and Alex was pushing her way into the apartment.

"Hi, Kara," Maggie greeted softly, her expression compassionate.

"Hey, Maggie," Kara said glumly.

"You look like crap," Alex said bluntly, eyeing Kara critically, arms crossed over her chest.

"Yeah, well, I feel like crap, so I guess that's fitting," Kara mumbled, shuffling herself over to the couch.

Alex walked over the windows, pulling the curtains wide. Kara grumbled at the flood of bright light and buried her face in her blanket. Walking over to the couch, Alex sat down beside Kara.

"You can't keep yourself locked away like this," Alex scolded.

"Why not?" Kara demanded.

"Because it's not healthy," Alex replied. "You can't let this totally derail your life. It's not fair, and it sucks, but you have to pick yourself up and keep moving forward. This isn't the end, it's just...a bit of a speed bump."

Kara raised her face out of her cocoon to glare at Alex. "Would you be saying that if it were Maggie?" Kara demanded. She felt no satisfaction when she saw Alex flinch, and swallow convulsively. "That's what I thought." Kara buried her face again. "Just give me a few more days," Kara said, her voice muffled. "I know it's not fair to ask you to cover everything at the bakery, but I just...I need a few more days."

"This isn't about the bakery," Alex said in exasperation. Alex wrapped her arms around Kara, and Kara sank into her sister's side. "I'm worried about you. I've never seen you this down."

Kara gave a watery chuckle. "It's not every day your soulmate tells you thanks, but no thanks." Kara shook her head. "It was awful, Alex."

"Maybe she just needs a little time to get used to the idea?" Alex offered, trying to be encouraging.

Kara shook her head, wiping her nose on the back of her sleeve. It was a testament to her concern that Alex didn't scold her for the disgusting behavior. "She sounded pretty sure. L-Corp is what's important to her." Kara shrugged sadly. "She's right. What would I have to offer."

"She's not right," Alex growled. "She's an ass." Alex placed a kiss on Kara's temple. "If that's what she truly values, then you're better off without her."

"I don't feel better off," Kara said sadly. "I feel…empty." Kara rubbed absently at the hollow ache that had seemed to take up permanent residence in her chest since Lena rejected her.

"It'll get better, Kara," Maggie said, sitting down on Kara's other side. "Just say the word, and I'll make sure every cop in the city is watching her every move. Parking tickets, jaywalking, no infraction will be too small."

Kara laughed, leaning into Maggie. She may not have Lena, but she had the two best sisters a girl could ask for. "Thanks, Maggie. I will definitely keep that in mind."

* * *

"Are you really sure you want to do this, Danvers?" Maggie asked, turning to look at her brooding fiance.

"Someone needs to set her straight," Alex insisted, glaring at the looming skyscraper through the windshield of Maggie's squad car. "She broke Kara's heart. I'm not going to just let her get away with that."

Maggie nodded, knowing just how deep Alex's protective streak ran where Kara was concerned. "You are still just going to talk to her right?" Maggie said, only half joking. She really didn't want to have to arrest Alex for assault. If Mike saw Maggie haul Alex in, she just knew that the handcuff jokes would be never-ending.

"Yes," Alex confirmed reluctantly. Maggie was pretty sure that was disappointment she saw on Alex's face. Maggie shook her head. Sometimes she thought Alex's true talents were wasted in a kitchen.

"Just promise me you won't break anything," Maggie teased. "If I have to book my fiancee the paperwork is going to be a bitch."

"You don't have to come in with me, Maggie," Alex offered. "I need to do this, but I don't want you to put your job at risk."

Maggie laughed, shaking her head. "Ride or die, Danvers."

* * *

Lena stared pensively out the window, all pretense of working abandoned. She couldn't concentrate, her mind constantly racing. Had she done the right thing? Or had she made the biggest mistake of her life.

Lena hadn't realized how much she had grown to depend on the daily stream of songs until they were gone. Kara hadn't sung a note since the day she left Lena's office. The silence was deafening. Lena had taken to playing music in her office to try to ward off the loneliness. It didn't help.

If anything, it just served to magnify the sense of loss. The songs coming out of the radio were flat, lifeless imitations of what she was used to. Lena hadn't realized it was possible to mourn the loss of someone she barely knew. But that's exactly what the constant heaviness in her chest, and burning behind her eyes felt like. Mourning.

"Ms. Luthor? Lena?" Lena shook her head and swiveled her chair around to face the door. Given the worried look on Jess's face, Lena wondered how long Jess had been trying to get her attention.

"I'm sorry, Jess. I was a bit distracted." It was a common refrain over the past week. "What can I do for you?"

"There is a pair of detectives here to see you," Jess explained.

Lena frowned. Her family was no stranger to law enforcement, but there hadn't been any recent developments to Lena's knowledge that would garner their attention. Better to get this over with. The sooner she got rid of them, the sooner she could go back to questioning her life choices. "Show them in, Jess."

Jess nodded, backing out of the office to retrieve her visitors. Lena stood, and smoothed her hands down her skirt. She rounded her desk and leaned back against it casually to wait. She didn't want to give them the impression that their presence ruffled her in any way.

"Right, through here." Lena heard Jess instruct. Opening the door, Jess ushered two women into Lena's office. The redhead fairly stalked into the room, practically bristling with hostility. Lena sighed. Great, it was going to be one of those days.

"Thank you, Jess," Lena said, dismissing her secretary. Once Jess had closed the door, Lena shifted her focus to the two women. While the redhead radiated irritation, her brunette partner seemed content to hang back.

"What can I do for you, detectives?" Lena asked, trying to appear as open and cooperative as possible. Given the redhead's stance, Lena doubted it would do much good, but she figured it was worth a try.

When the redhead started to wordless advance toward her, her partner grabbed at the back of her jacket, pulling her to a stop. "Danvers, you promised."

"Danvers?" Lena asked, her mouth suddenly dry.

A wry smile twisted the redhead's lips. "I see that name rings a bell. Nice to know Kara made at least that much of an impression on you."

Lena's stomach flipped at the mention of Kara's name. She desperately wanted to ask how Kara was doing but didn't think that would be well received by the glowering woman standing in front of her. "You're her sister." It wasn't a question.

"Maybe you aren't as stupid as I thought," Alex admitted. She took a step forward, and it took all of Lena's years of training not to flinch away from the blatantly threatening move. "On the other hand, only a complete idiot would throw Kara away."

Lena pushed off the desk, standing upright. She refused to be intimidated in her own office. Even if Alex maybe had a point. "I don't owe you any explanations," Lena retorted. Lena crossed her arms, doing to best to look unphased. "Did you have an actual point for your visit, or was it just to insult me?"

Alex narrowed her eyes and took a step closer. "No, that was pretty much it," Alex responded. "I also wanted to see for myself the person that broke my baby sister's heart." She raked her eyes over Lena from head to toe. "I can't say I get what the fuss is all about." Alex's gaze left her feeling exposed and raw. As though she had been weighed, measured, and found lacking in some fundamental way. It was a look she was familiar with; she had seen it often on her mother's face.

"Yes, well, consider me properly insulted. But if that's all, I have a busy schedule and a business to run." Lena adopted her best air of indifference.

"Oh, yes. Can't neglect your precious business." Alex tipped her head to one side. "The most important thing in your life, right? More important than love, family. More important than Kara." Lena remained tight-lipped, refusing to rise to Alex's bait. "Do you have any idea what you threw away? Do you even care?

Maybe that's it. Are you one of your Mommy's disciples. Determined that you know better than the universe? Did you make her proud?"

"Don't talk about my mother," Lena hissed, Alex's words finally hitting a tender spot. "You don't know anything about her."

Alex smiled, the look of a predator finding its prey's weak spot. "Oh, hit a nerve with that one. Good." Alex looked at Lena coolly. "I told Kara she was better off without you. Anyone that is willing to put power and money ahead of her doesn't deserve her. She has one of the purest hearts I have ever seen, and it would be wasted on the likes of you," Alex sneered.

"Babe, maybe ease up a little." For the first time since entering the room, the other woman spoke, and Lena realized that this must be Maggie. Alex shrugged off the hand that Maggie placed on her forearm, too caught up in her anger.

"No. She needs to hear this. She needs to understand." Alex paced a few steps away, before turning back to glare at Lena. "Her parents died when she was little, did she tell you that?" Lena shook her head silently. Alex nodded. "When she was 9. She came to live with my parents and me. I was awful to her. I didn't want a little sister, and certainly not one as sweet and easy to love as she was. She was like a wounded bird, and I resented her for all the attention my parents gave her.

My dad died a year later. In less than two years she had lost three parents. Do you know what she did? I had been so mean to her, barely sparing two civil words, and she comforted me. She heard me crying in the middle of the night, and she crawled into bed with me and told me it was going to be okay.

That's the person you threw away." Alex drew in a ragged breath. Lena watched as Maggie laid a comforting hand on the small of Alex's back. Watched as Alex relaxed into the touch. Part of her tension eased by the simple presence of the other woman.

"She was so happy the day you sang for the first time," Alex continued. "I had seen Kara deal with a lot of pain and loss, but I had never seen her so worried as she was about the possibility of not having a soulmate. Sometimes I think it was the one thing that kept her going. Her parents used to put her to bed with tales of soulmates, and the love they share. How everyone has that one person, made just for them." Alex eyed Lena disdainfully. "If only they had known."

Maggie gave Lena a glance filled with what almost looked like sympathy. The shorter woman pulled firmly on Alex's arm. "Okay, Alex. That's enough. She gets the point." Alex turned to argue, but after a brief moment of eye contact, Lena saw Alex relax the rigid set of her shoulders.

With a nod, Alex relented. "You're right. I don't need to waste any more of my time. I accomplished what I came here to do." Alex gave Lena one more scathing look, before turning on her heel and stalking out of the room.

Maggie remained behind, and Lena eyed her warily.

"Don't take it too personally," Maggie instructed. "She's just very protective of her little sister. How are you doing? With all this?"

Lena crossed her arms defensively. Alex's hostility had been understandable, and easy to defend against. Maggie's friendliness and apparent concern left her feeling off balance. "Why do you care?" Lena finally asked.

"Because I don't think you are as unaffected by all this as you pretend to be. I love Kara, don't get me wrong, but I'm not as blinded by sisterly outrage as Alex is. I'm also trained to observe people. I think I see something that Alex doesn't."

"What is it that you think you see, Detective?" Lena asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

"I see someone that is doing her best to convince herself that she made the right decision. But deep down, she has some doubts."

"You're mistaken," Lena replied stiffly.

"Maybe." Maggie shrugged, turning to leave. At the doorway she paused, turning back. "Oh and, Lena? If you were looking for a good way to apologize? Kara's favorite meal is pizza and pot stickers."

"What makes you think I intend to apologize?" Lena demanded.

Maggie gave her a dimpled smiled and a knowing look. "Call it a hunch."

* * *

Lena pushed the food around her plate. Every so often she would absently remember to bring a bite to her mouth. If her focus had been shot before, it was nothing compared to after Alex's visit to her office.

Kara had brought nothing but joy and comfort to her life since she was ten years old, and Lena had only wanted to protect her. In attempting to do so, Lena now wondered if she had caused more pain than her mother ever could have. While Lena had never been a proponent of her mother's fanatical teachings, she did think there was life after the loss of a soulmate. You could still live a happy, fulfilling life. That's all she had wanted for Kara.

It had only been two weeks, a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things, but Kara still hadn't sung a word. The silence had gone from deafening to oppressive. Every second that passed in silence felt like an eternity.

Lena hadn't counted on the silence. She knew that the Christmas carols, sung just for her, would come to an end, but she had never thought the music would stop entirely. It had always been such an integral part of Kara's day, and therefore, Lena's. Without it, she felt adrift. Lost.

"Have you even heard a word I've been saying?" Lillian snapped.

Lena jerked her eyes up from her plate, where she had been staring unseeingly at the pattern on the Luthor family china. "I'm sorry, Mother. Could you please repeat that?"

Lillian sighed deeply, narrowing her eyes at her youngest child. "What's been going on with you lately? I've heard reports that you have been late and ill-prepared for meetings the last few weeks."

Lena smiled tightly, vowing to do another sweep of the company to ferret out her mother's spies. They were like weeds. Pluck one, and three more sprouted up to replace it. "There's nothing to worry about. It's just been a long week."

Lillian shook her head, pursing her lips. "Your father would often work 90 hours a week. It never seemed to affect him. You need to toughen up if you expect to lead this company successfully."

Unaffected, other than putting him in an early grave, Lena thought bitterly. Not for the first time, Lena wondered if her father's long workweeks were less about dedication to work and more about escaping his wife.

"It's fine," Lena said placatingly. "I plan to spend a quiet weekend and recharge. I'll be back to one hundred percent by Monday."

Lillian looked at Lena, annoyed. "So you weren't listening then. I swear Lena, you can be such a disappointment at times." Lena absorbed the words without reaction. She had heard them so many times they had ceased to have any impact on her. The sky was blue, rain was wet, and she was a constant disgrace to the family name.

"As I was just saying, Morgan's son Miles will be in town this weekend. I mentioned to him that you were single, and he is very interested in meeting you. If we could secure an alliance with the Edges it would be quite the coup." Lillian looked quite pleased with herself. Lena was afraid the small amount of dinner she had managed to force down was about to make a reappearance.

"Alliance?" Lena asked hollowly.

Lillian gave her a knowing smirk. "You aren't getting any younger, dear. You could do a lot worse than marrying into the Edge family. Granted, they aren't quite as powerful, or rich, as the Luthors, but then, who is?" Lillian laughed, as though that were the greatest joke ever told. "However, their real estate holdings are impressive, and I have been wanting to diversify the family's holdings for years." Lillian looked at Lena pointedly. "If you do your job right, we'll have a Luthor running every major company in this city."

Lena realized she was about to lose her battle with her dinner. "Excuse me mother," Lena choked out, throat tight. "I'm not feeling well." Not waiting for a response, Lena pushed away from the table and stumbled to her feet.

On unsteady legs, she made her way shakily toward the downstairs bathroom. Lena was thankful for its close proximity as she reached it just in time. Hunched over the bowl, she emptied the meager contents of her stomach. After the heaving stopped, Lena flushed and turned on the sink.

She rinsed out her mouth, desperate to wash the acidic taste out of her mouth. Cupping her hands, she splashed some of the cold water on her face, hoping it would help cool her flushed skin. Letting the water run, she rested her forearms along the edges of the sink and bent over, head hanging low.

Lena thought she had made peace with her future. A strategic, loveless marriage, to a socially acceptable man of her mother's choosing. A few well-bred, and well-behaved children with impeccable bloodlines. It's what she had been groomed for since childhood.

Listening to Lillian lay it out, so coldly, all Lena could think about was smiling blue eyes. A tumbled mass of blond curls. The warm scent of vanilla and cinnamon, and Christmas carols on November 1st.

Lena had been so afraid that Lillian would find a way to take Kara away from her, that she had done her mother's job for her. Lena thought she must have been insane to ever think she could walk away from that. The money, the company, the building of a family dynasty. None of that meant anything to her. It never had. Lillian could have it all.

Lena only wanted one thing. Had only ever wanted one thing. She just hoped it wasn't too late.


	5. Chapter 5

As she sat at her desk, staring at the almost blank piece of paper in front of her, Lena realized that while she knew a lot about structuring a hostile corporate takeover, she knew next to nothing about winning someone's forgiveness. Over a dozen ideas had already been considered and discarded. Her most promising idea, to sing to Kara as Kara had to her all those years ago, had been scrapped when Lena realized it wouldn't be fair to hold the blonde hostage. Kara would have no way of escaping the onslaught, and that wasn't fair to her.

In a moment of desperation, she had even considered Maggie's suggestion of pizza and potstickers, only to realize she had no idea where Kara lived. She could go to the bakery, but she didn't want to ambush her while she was working. A little voice also acknowledged that she didn't relish bumping into Alex anytime soon either. She was pretty sure that Kara's sister would be happy to kill her and dump the body in an unmarked grave if given the opportunity.

Lena had even gone to caroling practice, hoping that Kara would show up. If was only a few days until they were supposed to go door to door, and Lena had hoped Kara would break her silence. Kara hadn't shown up, and Lena had finally managed to get it out of the director, with the help of a few hundred dollars, that Kara had quit the group.

Running out of options, Lena realized that desperate times called for desperate measures.

* * *

"Do I look suicidal to you, Luthor?" Maggie asked, leaning back against her desk. Out of options, Lena had tracked down the one person that she thought may be willing to help her. "If Alex found out, I would be lucky if the only thing she did was kill me."

"She'll never find out," Lena insisted.

Maggie looked at her skeptically. "Trust me, she'll figure it out." Maggie crossed her arms over her chest. "Why should I help you?"

"Because I want to make things right with Kara."

"And how do you plan to do that?" Maggie demanded. Lena realized that Alex wasn't the only protective sister in Kara's life. Maggie may have a friendlier exterior, but she took her job just as seriously.

"By apologizing, and hoping she can find it in her to forgive me." As far as plans went, it wasn't the most elaborate, but it was as far as Lena had gotten. It was simple but sometimes simple was best.

"And if she doesn't forgive you?"

Lena swallowed, stomach queasy at the thought. "Do you think she won't?" Lena asked nervously.

"Doesn't matter what I think. I just want to know what you plan to do if she tells you to take a hike."

"I'd respect her wishes," Lena admitted. "I know I've made a horrible mess of this whole situation, Detective Sawyer, but I hope you believe me when I say it was never my intention to cause Kara any pain. I was misguided and short-sighted, and….frankly, I was scared."

Maggie examined her silently for a few more moment. "Alright," she finally relented, nodding her head. "I'll give you the address." Grabbing a piece of paper from her desk she hastily scribbled a few lines of text. She extended the piece of paper toward Lena, pulling it back just as Lena was about to take it. "But know this. If you hurt her or upset her in any way, Alex will be the least of your problems."

* * *

Kara sat huddled on her couch, a half-eaten carton of ice cream grasped loosely in one hand. Love Actually played on the TV, but Kara had stopped paying attention after the second viewing. The movie used to be one of her favorites. Now, it just left her feeling weepy and depressed.

Then again, everything seemed to leave her weepy and depressed the last few weeks. She knew she had to snap out of it. So her soulmate didn't want her. It sucked, but it wasn't the end of the world. Loss was not something new to her. She had picked herself up in the past, and she would do so again.

She just wanted to grovel a little bit more first. After Christmas was over, she promised herself she would stop moping and put this all behind her. Even without the connection to her soulmate, Kara had always loved Christmas. She just hoped that Lena's rejection hadn't spoiled the holiday for her forever.

She was weighing the pros and cons of making herself some actual food, or just finishing the rest of the ice cream for dinner when there was a knock on her door.

"Come in, it's open," Kara yelled, figuring it could only be one person. Alex had begrudgingly agreed to give her some space, but she had insisted on stopping by at least once every few days to make sure Kara was still eating, and taking the occasional shower.

Instead of the scolding lecture she was expecting, Kara heard only the nervous clearing of a throat. Frowning, Kara turned.

"Lena," Kara said dumbly, the ice cream carton falling from suddenly slack fingers. It dropped to the floor, unnoticed, spilling its contents in a sticky mess across the floor.

"Hello, Kara," Lena greeted nervously, standing just inside the door. The woman standing in front of her bore little resemblance to the polished, cold, calculating woman that had shattered Kara's dreams a few weeks ago. Standing uncertainly, holding a pizza box in one hand, and a large brown bag in the other, Lena looked terrified.

"What are you doing here?" Kara demanded, standing. "Don't you have somewhere more important to be? A company to run?" When Lena closed her eyes, as though in pain, Kara felt no satisfaction that her barb had landed.

"I guess I deserve that," Lena admitted softly. "I brought a peace offering," Lena said, holding the pizza box aloft. "I have it on good authority that you are a fan of pizza and potstickers. Not a classic combination to be sure." Lena smiled faintly.

Kara crossed her arms over her chest. "What do you want, Lena?" Kara wanted nothing more than to believe Lena's presence in her apartment was a sign that she had changed her mind, but she was afraid to hope. After their last interaction, she refused to lay herself bare again. Lena's cold smile as she mocked the very idea of building a life with Kara was still fresh in her mind. In her darker moments, Kara feared it would never fade.

Lena dropped her arm, walking a few steps into the apartment to place the pizza box and bag of pot stickers on the kitchen island. "I wanted to apologize. For how I treated you," Lena clarified, as though Kara might be confused what she was apologizing for.

"So apologize," Kara said, still refusing to give an inch. Even before she knew her, Kara had spent a lifetime trying to offer Lena comfort. To see her looking so sad, and to not go to her, was killing Kara just a little. However, until she knew why Lena was really here, she couldn't give in.

"You're not going to make this easy are you?" Lena deflected with an uncomfortable laugh.

"Why would I?" Kara asked.

"You wouldn't." Lena blew out a shaky breath, her fingers fidgeting restlessly. Kara had a feeling Lena wasn't used to having to apologize. Lena raised her gaze, looking at Kara squarely. Kara forced herself not to look away. "You will never know how sorry I am for how I've handled everything. I never meant to hurt you, if you believe nothing else, I need you to know that."

"If that was you trying not to hurt me, I would hate to see what you come up with if you put some effort into it," Kara scoffed.

Lena smiled sadly. "One thing my family has always been good at is inflicting pain. Intentionally or not, it would seem."

"How was rejecting me supposed to spare me pain, Lena?" Kara demanded, throwing her arms up in agitation. She knew it wouldn't help the situation if she got upset, but now, faced with Lena, she couldn't prevent it. She had felt like she was in an emotional fog for days. That fog was finally lifting, burned away by anger.

Lena closed her eyes, shaking her head. "It was never supposed to get that far. You were never supposed to know it was me," Lena tried to explain, her expression pleading.

"And that's better?" Kara said hotly. "Condemning me to a lifetime of never knowing. Of waiting for someone who had no intention of revealing themselves? Wasting my life looking for you? How is that better?" Kara shook her head, disgusted.

"It's not. I just...I wanted to protect you," Lena confessed.

Kara looked at her sharply. "Protect me from what?"

"You know by now who my family is. What my family is. I thought it would be better to spare you that. I didn't want you to get hurt."

"Well, you failed on that front," Kara said bitterly.

Lena sighed, dropping her head and staring at the ground. After a moment she nodded to herself and drew in a deep breath. Finally, she raised her eyes and gazed at Kara sadly.

"If I had it to do over again…" Lena shook her head. "But I don't, do I?" Lena looked at Kara searchingly. "I'm truly sorry for how this all turned out, Kara. You'll never know how much I regret how things have gone between us. I know I don't have the right to ask anything of you, but I want you to promise me something?"

Kara eyed Lena warily. "What?"

"Don't let what happened between us change you. You have always been so full of song, of joy, and I would never forgive myself if I robbed you of that. I know I don't deserve anything from you, but please, don't let me spoil that for you."

Kara watched Lena silently, her heart at war with itself. Lena looked at her intently, and Kara almost got the feeling that she was trying to lock the moment in her memory. Without another word, Lena turned, making her way toward the door. When Lena grasped the door handle, Kara broke.

"Wait!" Kara could no more let Lena walk out that door than she could remove her heart from her chest. Kara rushed forward a few steps, preparing to go after Lena if needed. It wasn't. Lena froze immediately, dropping her hand from the door and turning to face Kara. "Was that the only reason you came? To apologize?"

Lena looked uncertain. "I wanted you to know how sorry I was, and…."

"And?" Kara prodded when Lena stopped talking.

Lena drew a fortifying breath. "And, I hoped you would be able to forgive me."

Kara edged a few steps closer as if approaching an animal unused to human kindness. "And if I do?"

Lena looked at Kara with something akin to wonder. "Do you?" The question was almost fearful.

"We still have a lot to talk about," Kara said instead of answering. "I still don't fully understand why you did what you did. Why you lied. But…"

"But?"

Kara looked at Lena. "But, I'm suddenly starving, and some kindly person brought me my favorite meal in the world, and I was wondering if you would like to join me for dinner?" Kara held her breath as she waited for Lena's response. Part of her was still afraid the other woman would run.

A wide, hopeful smile slowly spread across Lena's face. Kara felt her heart flip at the sight. "I'd really love that," Lena replied.

* * *

Lena was pretty sure she had done more talking about her emotions the previous night than she had in her entire life combined until that point. It has been unfamiliar, and uncomfortable, but she had answered every question Kara had. She owed her that much, and if they had any chance, Lena knew she was going to have to be honest.

So she had talked. Talked about her childhood. How Kara's singing had been the one comfort her mother couldn't take away. How she had learned to guard that secret closer than any other. As long as her mother didn't know, it was safe.

Talked about the war that had waged within her when she found Kara. Talked about how, in the end, she couldn't stay entirely. The pull had been too strong, and Lena had been helpless to resist.

Talked about her regret. Always her regret, about how she had handled things. How if she could take away Kara's pain over the last several weeks she would.

Kara hadn't said much. Letting Lena get it all out. At the end, when Lena had exhausted herself, Kara made her make a promise. That they put this behind them. Kara had needed answers, and Lena had provided them, but now it was done. From here, they moved forward with a clean slate. There was nothing to be gained from dwelling on past mistakes.

Lena had wanted to protest. It didn't seem fair that she be left off the hook so easily. Kara had been insistent, and in the end, Lena had agreed. If that's what Kara wanted, Lena would do her best to honor her request.

They had agreed to take it slowly. While they had "known" each other since childhood, they were still strangers. Christmas was in a few days, and they had agreed to get together sometime afterward. Maybe before New Years. The details had been hazy.

Lena was grateful that she was alone when it happened. It would have been hard to explain why she had suddenly burst into tears, and then a bad rendition of "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my original planned ending to this fic, but then I realized it would be a little Grinchy to end it before these two even so much as hugged. One more chapter and we're done.


	6. Chapter 6

"What's with the pensive expression?" Alex asked, coming up behind Kara and flicking her in the ear. It was Christmas Eve, and business had been slow all day. They were planning to close up at noon so that they could get a head start on tomorrow's preparations.

"I thought you said you and Luthor had patched things up." Given the circumstances, Alex had taken the news surprisingly well. Meaning that she had promised not to borrow Maggie's gun and shoot Lena on sight the next time she saw her. Kara considered it a win.

"Her name is Lena," Kara corrected. "And we did." Kara propped her elbow on the counter and dropped her chin into her palm. "It's just that we agreed we would take it slowly, and we don't have plans to see each other until sometime after the holiday. Maybe New Year's," Kara pouted.

Alex rolled her eyes. "You're ridiculous. You saw each other the other day. You'll be fine."

"Ha! Easy for you to say. You get to see Maggie whenever you want."

"I was never this bad."

Kara looked at her sister in disbelief. "Oh yes, you were."

"Was not."

"Was too."

"Not."

The bell over the door chimed, cutting off their back and forth. Kara barely resisted rolling her eyes when she saw her sister's entire demeanor change in an instant.

"Hey, sweetheart. I missed you," Alex said, smiling adoringly at Maggie.

"I missed you too," Maggie replied, smiling just as adoringly back at Alex. "But I am officially off duty until after New Year's, so I am all yours." Kara stopped resisting the urge to roll her eyes when Alex reached across the counter and hauled Maggie in by the lapels of her leather jacket and kissed her soundly.

"Not as bad, my butt," Kara groused.

"What are you grumbling about, Kara. I would think you would be floating around on cloud nine."

"That's what I said," Alex replied, backhanding her sister on the arm. "She's depressed because she won't get to see Lena for a whole five days."

"I think you're forgetting that until yesterday, I thought I had lost Lena forever," Kara reminded them. Alex had the good grace to look repentant.

"You're right. I'm sorry," Alex apologized, properly chastened. "You were just so giddy this morning, that I temporarily forgot. It won't happen again."

"It's okay," Kara replied with a sigh. She wasn't really mad, she was just a little bummed about not getting to see Lena for the next few days. She knew they had agreed to take it slowly, but now that they had kinda worked things out, Kara wanted nothing more than to spend time with her.

"Why don't you invite her over tomorrow," Maggie suggested, blithely ignoring the startled glance Alex sent her way.

"Oh, I don't know if she would want to do that," Kara said. The idea of getting to spend the day with Lena was wonderful, but she didn't want her to feel pressured. They had agreed on not to rush, and inviting her over for a major holiday a day after reaching said agreement seemed anything but measured. Kara wasn't even sure if they were officially dating or not. This whole soulmate thing was a lot more complicated than Kara had expected.

"Yeah. Isn't that awfully fast?" Alex asked, looking none too thrilled at the prospect.

"Are you forgetting we spent our first Christmas together, Danvers?"

"That's different," Alex insisted stubbornly. "We had known each other longer."

Maggie laughed. "Yeah, a whole three weeks."

"Still."

"I'm sure she's already got plans," Kara demurred. They had talked only vaguely about their plans for the holidays. Lena had said she was going to do 'the usual', whatever that meant.

"It can't hurt to ask," Maggie said. "If you don't you are just going to spend the whole day moping. Go get your girl."

* * *

Lena stood unmoving in front of the door. Kara calling her yesterday had been a welcome surprise. Lena had been itching to call her since the song incident but didn't want Kara to feel crowded. Kara had agreed to give her a chance, and Lena wanted Kara to set the pace.

Realizing if she stalled much longer she would be late, Lena wiped a sweaty palm on her coat, before knocking on the door. She barely had time to complete two taps before the door was being pulled open, and a red-cheeked and smiling Kara was greeting her.

"Lena! Hi! Come in, come in!" Kara said, brimming with excitement. There was a brief moment of awkwardness, when Kara went to hug her, but then pulled back, uncertain. She eventually settled on a clumsy pat on the shoulder, and Lena couldn't help but be a little bit disappointed.

"Thank you for having me," Lena said formally, dropping the bag of gifts she had brought to the floor so she could shrug out of her coat. Kara immediately jumped to take it. Lena handed it to her with a smile, nervously taking in the rest of the room.

Alex and Maggie were across the room, sitting side by side on the couch. Maggie was smiling at her in welcome, and Alex was….well, Alex hadn't thrown her out yet, so there was that.

"You have a beautiful apartment," Lena said, hoping to break the ice.

"We like it," Alex retorted, earning her an elbow in the ribs from Maggie.

"Thank you," Maggie said graciously. "Did you have any trouble finding the place?"

Lena shook her head. "No. Kara's directions were quite clear."

Kara came rushing back into the room, sparing a nervous glance toward her sister, who was sitting cross-armed on the couch. "Everyone getting along?" Lena had told Kara about Maggie and Alex's visit to her office. Kara had been set to give Alex a piece of her mind, but Lena had convinced her to let it go. Alex had only been looking out for her baby sister, and Lena couldn't fault her for that.

"Everyone is still breathing," Alex said. "For now," she mumbled more quietly, earning her another poke in the ribs.

"Here, these are for you," Lena said, handing Kara the bag of presents.

"Presents?" Kara said happily. "You didn't have to get me anything. When did you even have the time?"

"Being the boss has its perks," Lena said, with a smirk. After Kara had called and invited her to Christmas dinner at her sister's apartment, Lena may have had a mild panic attack. She normally had a service purchase all of her gifts, but she couldn't outsource this to someone else.

In a panic, she had called Jess, who had graciously talked her down off the ledge. Once she had calmed down, she had made the greatest sacrifice a person could make; she had gone shopping on Christmas Eve. She was starting to lose hope of finding anything when she had found it. A delicate filigree pendant of a treble clef. Maybe it was cliche, and overly sentimental, but Lena didn't care. She just hoped Kara liked it.

* * *

Kara sat on the couch, fingering the new pendant around her neck, and contemplated the four inches of space between her body, and Lena's. After finishing dinner, and opening presents, the foursome had decided to settle in and watch a Christmas movie. Kara had voted for Love, Actually, her appreciation for the film restored. Alex had vehemently objected. Kara was vindicated when Alex's choice of The Long Kiss Goodnight was also vetoed by the group. Eventually, they had settled on Elf.

Alex and Maggie had claimed one end of the sofa, her sister stretching out on the chaise, and Maggie attached to her like a limpet. Kara had sat in the middle, not wanting Lena to feel uncomfortable sitting next to the cuddling couple. Kara was well used to it by now, leaving the other end of the couch for Lena.

Which brought about Kara's current predicament. Never had four inches seemed like such an impassable distance. She wanted nothing more than to cuddle up next to Lena and burrow herself into the other woman's side. Kara was a tactile person by nature, and it had been a constant struggle to keep herself from reaching out for Lena during the course of the day.

Now that they were relaxing on the couch, lights turned off, and a fire burning in the fireplace, Kara feared her self-control may fail. We agreed to take it slowly, Kara reminded herself firmly, wiggling into the couch and trying to find a comfortable spot.

When the New Line Cinema logo appeared on the screen, Kara folded her hands in her lap. When the opening credits started to roll, Kara unfolded them and laid her hands on knees. By the time the credits were done, Kara's arms were crossed, fingers tucked under her armpits. When Will Ferrell made his first appearance on screen, Kara's knee started to bounce.

"Kara, I swear to god if you don't stop fidgeting, I am banishing you to the armchair," Alex growled, leaning forward to glare at her sister. "If you need to the bathroom, go!"

"I don't need to go to the bathroom," Kara protested, mortified. "I was just trying to get comfortable."

"Well try harder. You're driving me nuts," Alex complained.

Kara huffed and burrowed her back into the sofa.

"Did you want to switch spots?" Kara shivered involuntarily when Lena's warm breath tickled the hair over her ear. Turning her head she found herself almost nose to nose with Lena. Lena pulled back, saving from Kara doing something potentially embarrassing, like throwing herself at her.

Kara shook her head. "No, no. I'm good, thanks." Kara smiled, unable to break the eye contact, and flushing slightly.

"Well, if you change your mind…" Lena said, continuing to hold Kara's gaze.

"I'll keep it in mind," Kara said, licking her suddenly dry lips.

"Oh for crying out loud," Alex grumbled, aggrieved. Snatching the remote control from the arm of the couch, Alex punched pause, stopping the movie. She turned to glare at Kara and Lena.

"Danvers, be nice," Maggie mumbled, half asleep already.

"Will you just ask her if you can cuddle already?" Alex settled back into her seat with a grunt, hitting play on the remote. "Ridiculous."

"Good job," Maggie mumbled, patting Alex on the stomach absently.

Kara felt her face flame with embarrassment, vowing to throw her sister off a roof later. Kara didn't want to meet Lena's gaze, afraid that she would find the other woman laughing at her. When she finally mustered up the nerve, she was met with a look of warm understanding.

"I'd really like that," Lena said, her face almost as flushed as Kara's. "If you want?" Lena let the question hang, biting her lower lip nervously. Kara reluctantly jerked her eyes away from the entrancing site. Now was definitely not the time. Or the place.

"I'd like that," Kara croaked.

One elbow to the ribs, and a near miss of Kara's head to Lena's nose later, they settled contentedly into their corner of the couch. As Kara snuggled into Lena's side, she didn't think she had ever felt quite so at peace.

* * *

For a woman that liked to keep herself free of entanglements, Lena had never been as happy to feel so trapped. Pinned in place by the warm, sleepy weight of Kara, Lena would be content to not move for the foreseeable future. Except, this wasn't her apartment, or Kara's, and it was getting late.

Lena glanced over at the other end of the couch to see that Alex had joined Maggie in slumber. Unable to resist, she threaded her fingers through Kara's hair, hoping the gentle contact would be enough to rouse the sleeping blonde. It was not.

Kara let out a sleepy grumble and burrowed deeper into Lena's shoulder. Lena was pretty sure it was the most adorable thing she had ever seen.

"Kara," she whispered softly, not wanting to wake the other occupants of the room. She ran her hand over Kara's shoulder, down her arm, and brought it to rest on her hip, shaking the sleeping form lightly.

"Wanna sleep," Kara mumbled.

"I know you do, sweetie," Lena said, the endearment slipping out unconsciously, "but it's getting late, and I should really get going."

"Stay. Comfy," Kara insisted.

Lena smiled softly, wanting nothing more, but knowing that she couldn't. She decided to try a more direct approach and attempted to slide off the couch. Kara's arms tightened around her instantly, halting her escape.

The action finally had the desired effect. "Where are you going?" Kara asked sleepily, blue eyes blinking sleepily as consciousness returned.

"It's getting late," Lena repeated. "I should really get going."

Kara frowned, the crinkle forming between her brows. "You can stay if you want," Kara offered.

Lena smiled. She appreciated the sentiment, even if she recognized that it wasn't practical. "We're at your sister's apartment."

"Oh, right."

"And we said we'd take it slowly."

"We did."

"So, I should go."

Kara sighed, obviously disappointed, but accepting that Lena was right. "Let me walk you out."

"I'd like that," Lena confessed.

They managed to untangle themselves without waking the other occupants of the couch, for which Lena was grateful. While Alex had mellowed over the course of the evening, Lena didn't really relish the thought of having to say goodnight to Kara under her sister's watchful eye.

Lena waited by the door while Kara went to retrieve her coat. Kara held the coat up, and Lena slid her arms in with a smile. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Kara replied softly, still mindful of the sleeping women on the couch. Kara nodded her head toward the hallway, and Lena took the hint. Opening the door, she walked into the hallway. Kara followed closely after her, closing the door and leaning back against it.

"I want to thank you, again, for inviting me over today. For the first time in my life, I actually enjoyed a holiday."

"Well, you better get used to it," Kara teased with a smile. "There's going to be a lot more where this one came from."

"I'll look forward to it." Lena looked at Kara, knowing what she wanted to do, but also remembering that she had vowed to let Kara take things at her pace. Patience typically wasn't one of Lena's strong suits, but for Kara, she was willing to make an exception. "Well, I should go."

"Right. It's late. Thank you, for the um, the necklace," Kara said, reaching up to toy with the pendant.

"I'm just glad that you liked it."

"I love it."

Lena nodded, waiting a few moments until the silence started to grow awkward. "Okay, well, I'm gonna," Lena nodded toward the elevator.

"Right. Okay. Yeah. I'm glad you came today Lena." Kara looked at Lena uncertainly, as though she too was having an internal debate. Lena hesitated one more moment, before turning to go, realizing that one of them was going to have to make the first move, or they would probably still be standing here come the morning.

When she heard the door to the apartment click, she told herself it was silly to be disappointed. Thanks to Kara she had had a lovely day. The best of her life so far. She had absolutely nothing to complain about.

Lena hit the down button on the elevator.

She was going to get on this elevator, and go back to her apartment, and start planning a date that Kara wouldn't ever forget. She was going to do everything in her power to make sure Kara never regretted giving her a second chance.

The elevator dinged, signaling its arrival, and the doors slid open. Lena had one foot over the threshold when she was stopped by a hand gripping her arm. Before she could fully process what was happening, her back was pressed against the wall, and Kara was pressed against her chest.

Kara's earlier hesitance was nowhere to be found, her mouth claiming Lena's insistently. Lena recovered from her initial surprise quickly and wrapped her arms around the blonde to anchor her in place.

As Kara pulled gently at her lower lip, Lena almost wanted to cry. The feeling of rightness was so complete, so all-encompassing, that it terrified Lena how close she had come to almost never get to experience it. Kara must have sensed her disquiet because all too soon she was pulling away.

"What's the matter," Kara asked in concern. "I'm sorry, was this too much? I shouldn't have-" She tried to pull out of Lena's arms, but Lena tightened her grip, holding her close. Lena leaned forward, kissing Kara lightly on the lips to silence her.

"Nothing's the matter," Lena reassured the worried blonde. She reached up and brushed Kara's hair back from her face. Lena was starting to realize that she may be more than a little fixated on the blonde curls. "In fact, I've never been better."

"You're sure?"

"Positive."

"I hope I didn't rush you, I know we said we were going to take things slowly, but I just...I've been wanting to do that for weeks," Kara confessed. "And I went back in there, and both Maggie and Alex were looking at me like I was an idiot, and Maggie said something about life being too short, and kissing girls, and well, you know the rest."

"Remind me to send Maggie a thank you gift," Lena said with a smile.

"She really likes bonsai trees." Seeing Lena's look, Kara laughed. "I know, it's weird. Alex thinks it's adorable." Kara dropped her eyes, her fingers playing nervously with one of the buttons on Lena's coat. "When am I going to see you again?"

"When did you want to see me again," Lena asked, instead of answering.

"I know we said we would get together after New Year's but…."

"Does tomorrow work for you?" Lena blurted. Patience may be a virtue, but Lena had never considered herself a saint.

Kara smiled, nodding her head. "Tomorrow sounds perfect."

Several minutes, and two wasted elevator arrivals later, Lena was finally on her way. As Lena rode the elevator down to the lobby, she finally let anticipation get the better of her, smiling to herself in the empty elevator. When she exited the car, the smile remained in place. She was happy, and frankly, she didn't care who noticed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, that brings this fic to a close. There were parts I was happy with, and parts I wasn't so happy with, but I spent pretty much all of my writing/free time on it the last three weeks, and if I didn't put a pin in it, I probably could have spent another three.
> 
> Writing in smaller, time jump, sections is kind of a new experience for me, but I wanted to keep this fic moving along and not get bogged down in the minutia (as I tend to do).
> 
> Comments and feedback are always appreciated.


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